GerbilMechs 055 : Destiny Awakens

Hello 2:35 am… why the hell are you here?!
Morgion // 07.22.03 - 2.35

I know, I'm crazy. But I'm not awake right now just because of that. I'm anxious to get my new cell phone and cast this POS Motorola V120c into the pit of hell from whence it came. Or, you know, eBay the sucker. The big reason I'm up, however, is the incessant, driving beat at the back of my mind that pushed me into consciousness. Yeah, that's right, it's Track 8. Thank you, Vixen. :-)

As I said, the secondary reason is my new LG VX4400 from Verizon, which is awaiting pickup at my friendly-but-not-so-sensible FedEx location. Sounded like a good phone from the reviews, and since I was upgrading my minutes anyway, there was a Verizon rebate, making it relatively cheap.

Why is FedEx not-so-sensible? Because they hate me, or my packages… or they're just lazy. My package was in town yesterday at 8:03 am, but the next scan was "Package status: Package not due for delivery." So there it sat, all freaking day. I could have had my phone yesterday… but Verizon didn't give me a tracking number when I ordered it, so I was oblivious as to its location.

Side note: Verizon's website redesign may look nice, but it handles like a freight train: it tells you where to go and how to get there. Attempt to move it off that single, monotonous track, and it's all bad. Case in point: excessive JavaScript. To link directly to a phone's details, you have to build your own URL with web savvy and JabbaScript fragments (no, seriously, it's in the dictionary).

The reason there's always a big line in Verizon stores is not because they're popular (probably). It's because (1) mothers accompany their college students when buying a plan and ask every inane question imaginable, and (2) there is really only one employee that knows anything, and their odds of being right on a given subject are only 50-50. The transcript follows:

  • Me: "I ordered a new phone; can you find out the tracking number from my account?"
  • Dingbat Blonde: "Nope, but I can tell you when it shipped…" *clicky klacky*
  • Me: "Also, do you have the rebate for this hands-free unit in-store, or is it just online?"
  • Dingbat Blonde: "Umm… No, we don't have that."
  • 50-50 Guy: "No, we do have that, it's the combo pack deal."
  • Dingbat Blonde: "Oh."
  • 50-50 Guy: "Yeah, it's the combo pack deal, but it's not on that model."
  • Dingbat Blonde: "Oh."
  • Me: "Umm..." It is so this model; my web browser is smarter than you are. </internal monologue>
  • 50-50 Guy: *looks at rebate* "Oh, wait, it is that model."
  • Dingbat Blonde: "Ahhh…" </inappropriately sage and knowing>
  • Me: "So… could I get the rebate?"
  • Dingbat Blonde: "Sure!" </stupid bubbly>
  • Me: "Thanks… and, um, when will the phone arrive?"
  • Dingbat Blonde: "Oh, right…" *clicky clicky* "OK, here's your tracking number…"

22Jul03 (Monthenor): Holy Jebus, I've been fr1st p0st3d by Morgion!

Special Color Extravaganza today, because I felt like it.

Spy Kids parts one and two will be showing in my apartment this Wednesday, starting whenever people feel like it. Also, I have no cavities.

Oh, and there won't be comics next week, as I will be in Washington D.C.! It's my little non-Midwestern treat to myself for kicking ass so much. Yay, me!

The recipe for humble pie is simple.
Morgion // 07.22.03 - 18.47

  1. Realize people remember what you say, even if they don't immediately respond to it.
  2. Recognize that you are willingly going to pay for and watch the Spy Kids movies. Admitting the problem is the first step.
  3. Remember that all of your friends are laughing at you for Number 2.
  4. Understand that even though I will probably end up watching them…
    1. It's happening in my apartment, so I'll have to endure it.
    2. I'll be able to tolerate it if I'm drunk… or I suppose the accepted description would be "tipsy". *smirk*
  5. Know that I have never consumed bad milk and blamed the cereal. I understand the evils of buttermilk.
  6. Deal with the fact that there is a universe full of glitter and needles, and I could probably find a way to merge their evil for your… enjoyment. *evil grin*