GerbilMechs 068 : Shotgun Wedding

04Nov03 (Monthenor): Now we come down to it. That magical time of the semester when all the large papers/presentations I've been putting off for two months come crashing down all at once. I think I've got the XML PowerPoint in the bag, but the Databases paper still eludes me.

But you'll notice that I never miss a comic in favor of homework. That's commitment.

Not with a bang, but with a… WTF?
Morgion // 11.04.03 - 19.18

This is why Flash has a special place in my heart; for some things, like amusing chronicles of the apocalypse and incoherently translated adventures with candy and zodiac DJs.

I have hope for the Matrix Revolutions goodness tomorrow. As Monty said, it seems like this time the plot will be conveyed through action and style, the formula that made the first one so cool. Normally, explosions and gunplay are a crutch for bad movies with no plot. Reloaded had lots of talking, yet was less compelling than George Carlin incoherently thumbing through a thesaurus.

Huff offers some sage advice on obfuscation for fun and profit—How to Write Unmaintainable Code: Naming.

05Nov03 (Monthenor): To the girl I saw entering the theater at 6:00 PM, in full Trinity costume: I'm sorry. By now you've seen the third Matrix movie. Someone like you, someone who has gone out of her way to publicly display her love for the previous films, I hope you enjoyed Revolutions. Because (spoiler free) this is probably the weakest of the Matrices.

Where the first movie wanted you to question reality, and the second wanted you to question free will, this one wants you to question the editor's decisions. Scenes, although pretty, stick around for far too long. The battle for Zion in particular drags on forever. Although it appeared very well rendered, it also evokes the feeling of actually being in the war. Namely, that you will probably die before it is over. At no point in the 15-minute freeway chase of Reloaded did I find myself thinking of my homework, for example. During the Zion battle I had plenty of time to be entertained, feel that entertainment wane, freak out about my seminar on Friday, reassure myself that "yes, your presentation is ready", and then to realize that the battle was still going on. That is totally not cool.

The kung-fu fight scenes also aspired to a new nadir in this episode, compounded by the fact that they're almost non-existant. In an age when one side has a warrior that can bend the rules of reality and the other side has a bijillion warriors that can spread like the plague, even the mightiest kung-fu is obsolesced. The choreographed fights that wowed in the first and sparkled in the second simply don't exist here. The Matrix is poorer for it.

And, maybe just a personal preference, but isn't it time that people stopped survivng mortal wounds just long enough to deliver their lines?

Despite all that, it is far better fare than the Totally Incongruous Preview of the Day: Torque. If Revolutions was the worst Hollywood ever produced, yes I'd complain (more), but the world would be a better place. When there's crap like Bad Boys 2 and Torque making it to screens, you should pour your matinee dollars into the Matrix and pray for deliverance. The Matrix was a movie people wanted to see, its sequels are movies the Warchowskis wanted to see, but either case is better than movies nobody should want to see.