30Jan04 (Monthenor): I wonder if Morgion even remembers
Frakenbacon. It was a result of my unfortunate choice of bargain bacon. To
salvage a decent piece of actual meat, it was necessary to tear off pieces
and try to fit them together in some grotesque porcine jigsaw. I
like bacon fat, but it was a bit much even for me to handle. Viewtiful
Joe: On Tuesday I was ready to post on the site that Viewtiful Joe
was abomination unto the gaming community, but I remembered the kind words
spoken from nearly every other critic I trust and gave it another day. By
the end of Tuesday I was starting to warm to the concept. When I beat it
on Wednesday I fell in love. How could I ever have hated this game? Well, it's hard. I was unprepared for such a difficult
game on the tiny little GameCube. I was comparing it to Rachet and Clank 2
and Jak II, when I should have been
comparing it to Shinobi. It hearkens
back to a simpler time, when your life energy could be measured in single
digits, your enemies were strong and pattern-based, and your powers were
just barely enough to see you through. Once I accepted that fact (and used
an exploit to gain piles of easy money), the game opened up to me and
shew
forth its wonders. I started having fun. Then I beat the game, and
unlocked Sexy Silvia, and then, and THEN...the super-secret post-credits
bonus sealed the deal. The game is not for everyone, unless Kids difficulty is really
as easy as they say. I'm not ashamed to say that I taped my buttons and
let the money build up for three hours. I needed every advantage I could
get. If I wanted to take the time to buy this game and master every
pattern, I probably wouldn't need to 'sploit. Even on my second time
through, it's much easier to react to the hell going on around you. I'm
not sure how to rate this one...it's controller-throwing horrible for the
first couple hours, and enjoyable afterwards because you feel accomplished
for making your way forwards.