29Jun02 (Monthenor): Sorry about the late upload. I woke up this morning to find that the Internet was broken at our place, and the lure of Grand Theft Auto 3 was greater than the lure of fixing it immediately.
Oh, GTA3? It's just this little game you might have heard of, where you get to blow shit up, run people over, and beat old ladies for cash. And hookers. Me likie.
I can spend time with this game because I imagine Dracula is in the lowest levels of Hell right now, somewhere I like to call the Chamber of Mockery. He is being forced to watch the tape of our last battle for all eternity. Every so often a demon pokes him and says, "How could an 80-foot-tall vampiric millepede dragon be beaten by a five-foot-tall schoolgirl with plastic frisbee rings?" Then he laughs.
Anyway, here your bonus comic. Enjoy...I gotta get back to running people over...
7.01.02 (Morgion):
Huh, what, comic? AHHH, COMIC! Whoah, huh, oh, there it is. Whewh. *nervous laugh* Heh, almost missed it there... ha ha ha... *clears throat*
There's some debate as to whether or not Monthenor informed me as to the existence of the post... I should know better and actually check on our regularly scheduled post days. I should also be doing work now, and the site really should be prettier by this point, but as they say, "Forget about it!" </mafia>
GTA has been a grand ole time this weekend... the minimal amount of work I did on Sunday was an excellent contrast to the 5 or so hours I put in on Saturday. Yes, it's still fucking "crunch time," so :-P. I know that's no excuse, but at least I'm still posting interesting and engaging commentary on my life, unlike some people. Oh, and Glothar, your page seems to be on the fritz. It's still prettier than this though, so that's OK. :-)
So I'm driving to work this morning, and see this sweet car. I don't know what make/model... but it reminds me of a Yakuza Stinger. No, it's not a Viper; that I would know. Before that point, it had been business as usual, take the same turns on the same streets at the same speed to get to work. But when I saw this car, I thought, "Damn, that's a sweet ride... I wonder how well it would hold up in a police chase..." It was at this point I had to scream (yes, out loud), "NO! Negative social impulse!"
There have been no other ill effects. Aside from Monthenor asking if he should be concerned that I was spending a lot of GTA time whacking ho's in an alley with a bat. And with a Pony (delivery van). And an ambulance. This from the guy that created the battle cry "Hit them till the money comes out!".
UPDATE 01Jul02 (Monthenor): We now have access to the rocket launcher in GTA3, and killing innocent pedestrians has never been easier. I'd also like to share some cop-killing wisdom I have developed: you can throw grenades out the door of AmmuNation, but cops can't come in. This little trick turns a normal hoodlum into a nigh-immortal pig slaughtering machine. I don't need no cookbook, I can whip up a family sized batch of five-badge alarms like THAT. *snap fingers* You want FBI fries with that?
Yes, as Morgion states, one of the most memorable quotes from this weekend was "Hit them till the money comes out!" Words to live by. But a close runner-up was our dialogue about my repeated failure to actually drive all the way to our mission contact without causing a scene...I would share it with you here, but I have a feeling that it will show up as a Saturday comic very soon now, and it will be funnier with a visual aid. Our third best quote was Morgion's observation that a particularly rich sidewalk harvest was like "an incredibly bloody Pac-Man."
Aside from the carnage aspect of GTA3, it has highlighted the differences between how Morgion and I approach life's problems. Morgion gets a kind of giddy pleasure at whipping out his beatstick and running back and forth in an alley whacking hos. Nice work if you can get it. He also tries very hard to be a good citizen until that very first time he hits a pedestrian. Then he just sorta gives up and starts running over everyone he sees. Also, don't ever get in a cab with him. He may take you where you're going, but you won't live long once you get there.
I take a different approach. Sure, I have the occasional fun driving down highly popluated sidewalks and watching corpses bounce off my windshield, but when I really want to piss the cops off I go and stop my car in the middle of an intersection. I wait until I have a nice big traffic jam, then I drop a grenade and watch from a safe distance. When this ceases to amuse, I take my sniper rifle up to the top of a parking ramp and start shooting bag ladies. The cops may be able to instantly teleport to any location in the city while I'm driving around, but they are completely unable to navigate the parking ramp.
Good thing I have thumbs in Real Life(tm).