GerbilMechs 048 : Hasty Retreat

03Jun03 (Monthenor): Okay, break's over, back to work. Bodie is captured by the evil hamster incursion, thus setting in motion the next third of GerbilMechs.

I had an immensely restful week last week. Much Diablo was played, and it was good. My cousin's graduation on Saturday was even better, as my family is comprised entirely of cool people. At least four meals over the weekend were bratwurst. Good times.

The new Weird Al CD?...pretty good. Not his best, but not the worst I've heard from him either. I'd like to blame most of the stale lyrics on the stagnation of the music industry as a whole, but Al does seem rather tired with the whole parody thing. The polka medley is arguably one of the worst, with sound-alike verses from The Hives, The Strokes, AND The White Stripes. Again, partly the fault of the Top 40 format. It's also pretty apparent that the CD took four years to put together: there's a Backstreet Boys parody on there. They are like, so 2000.

It seems pretty much confirmed that Red Baron has discontinued their Deli Pockets line of frozen pastry wrap sammich thingies in favor of their Stuffed Pizza Slices. While I'm sure their SPSs are tasty little concoctions, they cannot fill the hole in my heart left by their amazing Roast Beef Deli Pouches. In some perverse twist of versioning, the old link to Roast Beef still functions, but is not accessible through their current Flash interface. Red Baron, for your inexplicable desire to cut the Deli Pouches line shortly after we discovered the divine tastiness of your Roast Beef pouches, as well as choosing to replace them with yet more pizza, I would like to award you the first-ever GerbilMechs You're Only Hurting Yourself Award.

I don't have a nifty clip of the show to explain this award, so bear with me: while desperately fighting Majin Buu, Vegeta realizes he is outclassed and explodes himself in an impressive burst of energy. This display of power is devastating to the surrounding countryside and leaves a massive crater. However, Piccolo, Krillin, Trunks, and Goten are all able to fly to safety before they're hit. Majin Buu is able to regenerate himself from the thousands of little pieces left after the blast. Even Majin Babidi, a shriveled little wizard who at this point has been reduced to a talking torso, is able to shield himself from the attack. So, out of the seven people in the fight, and with two intended targets, one of which is already laying bisected on the ground with only one arm left, Vegeta manages to rack up a negative frag count.

Again, congratulations to Red Baron for winning two such prestigious awards in the space of four months. Bastards.

Hurts so good.
06.05.03 (Morgion)

Wow, it's been a bad week. But the cynicism of Gluemeat makes it all better. I also can't wait for the national Do-Not-Call List; there's a certain business who's ass I'm going to kick if they keep calling my cell phone. Word of advice; never register any aspect of your business, especially the domain name and trade name. It's spam fodder.

Since my latest effort for Creative Kitchen (if you too would like to receive discount coupons, let me know) to design a layout that works on most platforms/browsers/versions (and by "works" I mean "looks fabulous in the mostly-compliant Gecko engine and is at least readable in everything else"), I've reaffirmed my desire for there to be only one browser. There is always the hope that it'll be said Gecko engine, but it would more likely be Internet Explorer.

Then I see the news about AOL's deal to use Internet Explorer. Oh, and IE6 will be the final version outside of updates to Windows itself; that's right, it's now going to be bundled with the OS. Hmm, that seems familiar…

The analysis of the IE/AOL/Netscape situation at is spot on. Better than the CNET article, which is sad (but not surprising). Imagine all the problems of AOL (proxy servers thwarting your attempts at session-hijacking prevention, supporting stupid users) combined with a legacy browser who's crappy engine won't go away (i.e. Netscape Navigator 4.Ass); that's the future of web design. Zeldman states the truth that stabs me deep:

It appears that we are about to enter a period of stasis, wherein we can reliably use the standards-compliant methods developed over the last three years, but not push the envelope beyond what IE6/Win can handle.

Right back to square one. Granted, getting people to upgrade their browsers isn't easy… but at least it was possible.